Emotional Intelligence at Work
Created by the klar Content Team 13 September 2025
- Key Insights
- Understand what Emotional Intelligence really is and the impact it can have on your role across the business.
In any support role – whether you’re managing schedules, shielding your exec from overwhelm, or acting as the team glue – your technical skills matter. But what often makes the real difference is something less visible: emotional intelligence.
Known as EQ, emotional intelligence is your ability to recognise, understand and manage emotions – your own, and other people’s. And in high-pressure, people-facing admin roles, it’s one of the most powerful assets you can develop.
This Skills Boost explores how emotional intelligence shows up in daily work, and how to build and apply it for better outcomes, calmer communication, and stronger working relationships.
Popularised by psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence includes five core components:
- Self-awareness – recognising your own emotions and triggers
- Self-regulation – managing your responses in a thoughtful way
- Motivation – staying driven by purpose and values, not just external rewards
- Empathy – understanding others’ emotions, perspectives and needs
- Social skills – communicating effectively and building positive relationships
While these may sound “soft,” they have a hard impact – influencing how well you handle feedback, support your exec, or manage complex dynamics across teams.
As a PA, EA or office manager, you’re often in the centre of everything – navigating shifting priorities, fielding urgent requests, and managing multiple personalities.
Here’s how emotional intelligence helps in practice:
Situation | With EQ | Without EQ |
Last-minute changes from a stressed exec | Stay calm, reframe the challenge, offer solutions | Panic, blame, frustration |
Team tensions or office politics | Read the room, respond diplomatically | React emotionally, escalate drama |
Feedback or performance discussions | Accept with curiosity and professionalism | Take it personally or shut down |
Supporting a colleague under pressure | Offer empathy and appropriate help | Miss the signs or unintentionally dismiss their concerns |
In short: EQ helps you respond, not just react.
You likely use emotional intelligence daily, even if you don’t call it that.
Ask yourself:
- Do I notice when I’m feeling tense or overwhelmed – and do I take a moment before replying?
- Can I read the mood in a meeting or message and adapt my approach?
- Do people trust me with sensitive information or tricky conversations?
- Am I aware of how my tone or facial expressions affect others?
These are signs your EQ is already active. The next step is to strengthen it intentionally.
- Pause Before You Respond
This is the golden rule of emotional intelligence.
Whether you’ve received a blunt email, a tricky request or a change in plans, train yourself to pause – even just for a breath – before reacting.
Try this:
Before replying, ask:
“What’s really going on here?”
“What outcome do I want from this?”
It gives your rational brain time to lead, not your reactive one.
- Label the Emotion, Not Just the Event
When things feel off, go beyond what’s happening to how it feels. Are you frustrated? Embarrassed? Anxious? Naming the emotion can reduce its intensity and help you move forward more clearly.
Example:
Instead of “This meeting overrun is annoying,” try “I’m feeling frustrated because it’s affecting my prep time for the next task.”
Now you can choose how to act – rather than stew.
- Listen for What’s Not Being Said
Empathy is a cornerstone of EQ. It’s not just about hearing the words – it’s about tuning into tone, body language (even on video), and what might be going on underneath.
Look and listen for:
- Hesitation or avoidance
- Tension in tone or pace
- Repeated patterns (e.g. always apologising, frequent stress-related comments)
What to do:
Gently check in or offer support – even a small gesture goes a long way.
- Regulate in Real-Time
Support roles are full of moments that could derail your calm. But you don’t have to “power through” emotional spikes.
Micro-regulation techniques:
- Box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4
- Name it to tame it: “That email made me feel defensive. What’s the best way to reply with clarity?”
- Take a walk or window break after tense calls or meetings
These help you reset quickly, keeping your responses calm and measured.
- Reflect (Without Ruminating)
After a tricky conversation or situation, take a moment to reflect:
- What did I feel, and why?
- What went well? What could I do differently next time?
- Was I emotionally present, or distracted/reactive?
Even 5 minutes of honest reflection builds long-term emotional agility.
Sometimes, emotional intelligence speaks through your presence, not your words.
- Maintain calm body language, even when things are chaotic
- Use neutral or open expressions when hearing tough news
- Match your tone to the energy of the room or person
- Let silence do some of the heavy lifting in tense moments
These subtle behaviours show people they can trust you – which is the cornerstone of every good admin relationship.
Some people are naturally more attuned to emotions, but everyone can strengthen their EQ with intention and practice. Think of it as a professional tool – one that helps you navigate high-stakes, high-volume, high-pressure days with calm, confidence and clarity. And the bonus? People will feel more comfortable around you, which makes every task – from scheduling to stakeholder wrangling – a lot smoother.